Answering the TOUGH questions

I want this blog to address the healthcare-related concerns of anybody who is lucky enough to be reading it. Please feel invited to leave comments demanding that I inform you about topics of interest to you (though may I suggest you leave your comment anonymously should you be asking about your scrotal lesion, which you fondly refer to as Mister Blister–you know who you are.) Any topic, from toe jam to “socialized” medicine, is fair game. My knowledge is extensive, my insight is uncanny, and my goodwill towards my fellow humans has been clinically-proven in a randomized, placebo-controlled, double-blind study. So ask away, friends. Don’t be shy or embarrassed. This is the safety circle. If you leave topic selection up to me and me alone, then this whole blog will be about home remedies for herpes. Consider yourself warned.

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5 Responses to Answering the TOUGH questions

  1. rashburn says:

    I’ve had about four yeast infections in my life, each after unprotected sex with one particular guy. Is this a coincidence, or is it possible he’s yeast-basting me? Is there anything he can do to prevent this besides scarf probiotic yogurt and try to keep the peen clean? (He’s asymptomatic btw. No itching or dickcheese.)

  2. Scrawny McSkinny says:

    For my entire adult life I have weighed 136lbs. Wether I eat more or less, cheese quesadillas from Taco Bell or hearty salads, it makes no difference. I think I am physically incapable of altering my body weight. I believe it is due to my ultra high metabolism. Without radioactive juice and an x-ray machine, I can’t be sure, but sometimes I think I’m pooping out my breakfast just before lunchtime. I would like a hot six pack and some man tits. What should I do?

  3. […] “surgical” lube— to hash it out with some of the good ol’ boys. No more screwing around. Your pocket is full of flushes and you’ve got your Lifesaving Foley in […]

  4. Sick of Useless Reading says:

    I used to want to be a nurse, like you, until I discovered how completely boring and dehumanizing the part where you learn to be a nurse can be. Then I read this story (http://hosted.ap.org/dynamic/stories/U/US_ODD_FAKE_NURSE?SITE=WBBMAM&SECTION=HOME&TEMPLATE=DEFAULT) and now I think that I can probably do a little better than this lady – seems like if she just hadn’t overreached and staged a dinner by a fake organization, maybe she could have kept on being a fake nurse. So, SEMI, tell me why I should stay in school and not try to lurk around the edges of medicineland.

  5. nevergonnagetagirlfriend says:

    sometimes strange things come out of my throat. I’ll cough up a small snail like lump of hard white paste. It’ll happen about once a month. If I smush it between my fingers it smells like the crap you get out of your teeth when you haven’t flossed in a while. If this happens to anyone else, what is it and where does it come from?

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